In Conversation with my son.....we were at ice-cream corner and i just asked him why do you think we buy somethings for you and somethings we don't buy...? relishing his chocolate ice cream he thinks for a minute and says it could be budget planning and you buy what is needed...i said smart boy and asked him given a choice to buy a tennis racket or a fancy toy which one do you like to buy ? he said " off course tennis racket mom"...why? coz its required and i can make best use of it and play well. so what is that is making you choose it? he says my intelligence and brilliance to able to see what is required and what is not essential haha!! i said right so has it got anything to do with whether you have money or not or whether you can effort or not or is it to do with your wise choices or intelligence? he says if i need i get it..!! then he suddenly said i got it what you want to say...and i gave clearance again to ensure .... We normally compare in terms of possessing more and more gadgets and fancy toys and video games etc which make child feel the difference of Rich and Poor and that the more money the more you can buy whatever you want but i wanted him to understand that its our choice to choose what we actually see as required or can put to use rather then just posses for the sake of it . once you feel that a particular thing would help you grow and contribute to self and others which you feel is required then it comes to you. No matter how costly it is, its our choice and vision that decides our ability to have things or people in our life not the budget. so this feeling of oh i wish i had this and that which sharukh khans son has or ambani son has gets vanished when "you can see what actually makes you get what you want" !!!! got it???
Thursday, August 8, 2013
ME TIME...!!!
A parent was sharing , "our child did a mischief and feels guilty as part of his realisation but as parents we are very upset to see child sad so want to do something to make child happy, take to toy shop , buy something or take them out etc.so that child gets happy and not sad.please suggest some tips".
Well i really appreciate parents want to do their best for the child and are concerned about their emotional well being too.Lot of tips on making child happy can be given like taking child out or play etc list goes on but what i am seeing is , one needs to go to the roots of the concern. As parents all want children to grow emotionally strong.One needs to understand that being happy and sad are part of learning . if you as aparent express that being sad is not ok and only being happy is ok....it will make her feel the same...so how do expect her to handle her weakness or sadness with not okness?? child will only learn to reject the expression of sadness thinking its not good to be sad rather then knowing that its ok to be sad and now what....focus on solutions when i see my child is upset or sad ..i just smile and say ..its ok to be sad too....as long as learning happening...we interpret it as sad but its a time taken by individual ...a silence to look within and coz during that time kid doesnt jump around we feel we need to do something to make her happy.....infact we need to respect that ME Time they take off to understand their thought process and express too in the form of cry or not wanting anything is also ok....my kid goes off to terrace to calm down and when he is back....i just smile and ask if he wants to share something or is everything ok...if he wants to join us for dinner or i ask if he needs some more time for himself.....i dont belittle that time he takes off to learn himself by saying oh why are u sad , what shall i do for you to be happy.....nothing from outside will make them happy until they are clear in their thought process so i just be thr around and i do appreciate that they took time off to know them selfs and came back smiling...am clear i cnt be every where they go to tell them what to do and what not to do.....so i told them learn to look within and make decisions and am always thr.....mistakes are welcome too..every expression is important Navarasa happy sad anger all are part of us and equally important but surprisingly when some one smiles we dont ask stop it but if cry then we ask why what advice and ask them to stop and try to teach good and bad etc.All you need to know is its natural and be ok with it, rest falls in place by being. Build the bond with children and before any thought comes to their mind you will be able to feel it...my kids wonder and ask mom how did u know am thinking this...is it coz am born from ur womb u know all my thoughts? that could be a reason but the best was to tell them i was a child and a teenager too Sweety!! so i relate it easily.Be childlike you know it all.gdluck.
Well i really appreciate parents want to do their best for the child and are concerned about their emotional well being too.Lot of tips on making child happy can be given like taking child out or play etc list goes on but what i am seeing is , one needs to go to the roots of the concern. As parents all want children to grow emotionally strong.One needs to understand that being happy and sad are part of learning . if you as aparent express that being sad is not ok and only being happy is ok....it will make her feel the same...so how do expect her to handle her weakness or sadness with not okness?? child will only learn to reject the expression of sadness thinking its not good to be sad rather then knowing that its ok to be sad and now what....focus on solutions when i see my child is upset or sad ..i just smile and say ..its ok to be sad too....as long as learning happening...we interpret it as sad but its a time taken by individual ...a silence to look within and coz during that time kid doesnt jump around we feel we need to do something to make her happy.....infact we need to respect that ME Time they take off to understand their thought process and express too in the form of cry or not wanting anything is also ok....my kid goes off to terrace to calm down and when he is back....i just smile and ask if he wants to share something or is everything ok...if he wants to join us for dinner or i ask if he needs some more time for himself.....i dont belittle that time he takes off to learn himself by saying oh why are u sad , what shall i do for you to be happy.....nothing from outside will make them happy until they are clear in their thought process so i just be thr around and i do appreciate that they took time off to know them selfs and came back smiling...am clear i cnt be every where they go to tell them what to do and what not to do.....so i told them learn to look within and make decisions and am always thr.....mistakes are welcome too..every expression is important Navarasa happy sad anger all are part of us and equally important but surprisingly when some one smiles we dont ask stop it but if cry then we ask why what advice and ask them to stop and try to teach good and bad etc.All you need to know is its natural and be ok with it, rest falls in place by being. Build the bond with children and before any thought comes to their mind you will be able to feel it...my kids wonder and ask mom how did u know am thinking this...is it coz am born from ur womb u know all my thoughts? that could be a reason but the best was to tell them i was a child and a teenager too Sweety!! so i relate it easily.Be childlike you know it all.gdluck.
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