A Bueatiful Beginning......

To begin with am doing good..enjoying the monsoon...every leaf is fresh and happy with the rains tickling them....coming to something i wanted to share ,.as we all give our best to make life effortless journey so it is with parenting as well...but most of the parents carry an inbuilt fear of having a child or another child as  , it could be due to various reasons like work stress, time management, health issue, no mindset or confidence to take care of another child, financial issues etc...everyone has something to say oh my god !! one more child , No not now... family and friends reminders  to have another child doesn't sink in well and some have it under pressure or thinking first child needs company , some do love having a child just for no reason too...may be its time to think on it...its not the idea but the process of parenting that has to be nurtured ...every small thing has to be tackled and considered with love but also great patience like...
1.Healthy diet, exercise before and during pregnency  .
2.Enroll for post and pre-pregnency workshops, read books, knowledge yourself on every aspect.
3. Vision..visualize yourself and the baby's well being.
4. Buildup the bond between wife and husbend.
5.Chalkout the newborns list .
6.Keep yourself Happy.
   the list goes on...now after birth most of the issues comes with desciplining in terms of food of the child, behaviour, habbits etc..All these issues can be solved with a bit of skillfull parenting where you need to see the emotions and the issue as two seperate things...your teaching children to learn handle themselves which they atually love to do so...child wants to bath herself but out of love we interupt,..even with eating, cleaning, etc due to lack of patience or assume that they cant...let them attempt and they will eventually do all by themselves ..as early as better..like...

1. Good sleep for parents as important as for the child. so initially its said to be good bond to put baby to sleep by parents as it builds the bond but slowly you start teaching them or actually allow them to put themselves to sleep right from infant stage like when baby wakes up in middle of her sleep , dont rush to rescue her sleep hearing babbling sounds, wait for sometime and observe from far allowing her to put herself to sleep, if she is unable to then you could go ahead but slowly they learn to sleep self.at certain age make a child friendly bed with colorful bedspreads and things around and encourage them to sleep in their room.
2. Behaviour : this has to come naturaly when they connect themselves to everything around them...no doubt but yes some skillfull tackling goes with it when it comes to put a stop to pinching, hitting etc which they pickup by seeing others i guess.... positive fear is good to give when said that they can't jump from deep heights or hurt someone. explain the consequences depending on their age..give timeouts , No is No when its comes to stoping anything that is not accepted well like pulling, pushing, rudeness etc...as it is said a plant can bend well then a tree so as early as better..Be Kind but be Firm too.

3. Daily chores: allow them to learn their daily chores as young as possible like brush, bath, dressup, cleanup like put toys back, mop the spilled water, color etc...its important as they feel the power in them to be able to set things back..Often we do the job for them because we can do it with less hassle, but the result is they feel unimportant.actually you make them feel powerful, valuable, independent and included as they are part of everything ..helping in shopping list, cooking, cleaning etc. In this process parents have to spend less time on doing their chores and get more quality time to teach them higher. initially it may be cute to do everything for them but unknowingly your energy levels drop and you feel your occupied whole day. this puts parents on to back seat as they are tired for anything for themselves or the child.

4.Food; I have seen Mothers with a bowl of food feeding child running behind ...in the house then neighbours and the road too...as they feel  feed them is easy...no its not as its tiring for both .. its not healthy either moving around and eating chokes food. make an habbit of sitting in one place and eating right from infant, toddler stage. let them relish food. allow them to eat themselves like starting with snacks. almost all children in village learn eat early as they are allowed to do so.slowly they learn to cleanup the food they spill so they are more careful they dont spill.

lot to share , i have been careful but yes learning some good mistakes too...more to write ..will do again...all i want to say is Being Responsiple is Great but Teacing children to be Responsible is Highest Responsibilty too. ...with little care about these little things would be a bueatiful beginning of the journey in parenting....Goodluck...!!!

B+ve

B+ve , No thats not my bloodgroup but ya is its my experience...!!We were sleeping in the stationed car while driver was checking the air in the tyre. A lorry hit us. I fell unconscious. After villagers rescue , I opened my eyes to find my head bleeding and back broken. For a second I thought am finished. I checked kids, hubby, relieved they were safe. Pain getting worst, I said to myself I wanted to survive, I want to see my kids growup. Sometimes attachments get us going, my family needs me and I wanted to survive. I took deep breathe, time to be their for the pain body is going through. I pooled in my inner strength. Now time to focus on the solution not problem. Complete U turn to positive, no second thought ,worked wonders. They took me to nearest hospital, I was in complete hold and asked them not to shake me as backbone is under threat. They put a neck coller n first aid. Now journey begins back to the city. I went into soham holding mudra pranayama and felt we reached in 25mins but later came to know I traveled 250km , to the city. Just before getting down, I took off the ornaments for scan. I was totally with myself , when your their with yourself when required without crying helplessly, its no more a traumatic but an enlightened experience.I was diagnosed backbone C6-7 disc prolapse with dislocation, c1,D5 FRACTURE as well. I was in ICU but in meditative state, obsorbing pain, breathing pranayama non stop nurturing mybody, every part and soul. I can say it worked so well. Positive outlook matters a lot. I was smiling and knowing the status from doctors....ok I need some rest now will post the rest later, my surgery and recovery...

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Rich n Poor...!!!!!!

We were on way to village. We stoped to check the tyres on extreme left with flashing light indicating vehicle parked. A drunken lorry hit car in seconds. I fell unconscious. During which a milkman stoped and got us help to rescue us from the car. Doors got locked so they managed to pull us out somehow. I had head and back injuries . Rest all had minor wounds. They called for ambulance and by the time villagers were informed, milkman took out 20000  from his pocket and offered it to use it incase required. All villagers rushed with vehicle and some got a lakh, two lakhs, 50000 etc. For a milkman twenty thousand and farmer's lakh was a years hard earned money but not more then humanity..if someone says India a poor country, do share it , India is rich country always, with love and offering.Even though we did not need the money offered ,I thank everyone for their kindness.

Saying vs Being...!!!!

Tired of saying one thing many times....they dont eat, keep playing, dont keep things in place, no decipline etc list of complaints go on....whats the best way to get rid of all these blaa blaa blaa which dont come to an end....how can you make them do or learn just with a smile, what if they do everything that they could do without any hahahoho,....yes... just be with them, ya be a child, when you involve with them in playing, they involving in cleaning up too coz its fun for them untill you are at ease and enjoying it too, the moment you become adult and scream at them, order them , remind them again and again, it may not work .... instead of you saying you do it, say it we do it, we keep the house clean, we dont hit someone so it includes all and the child doesnt feel pointed out or punished.play with the child , be with the child and he would do anything for your lovely smile, you can see him giggling and most importantly when you have become a child , your complaining mode vanishes as how can one child complain about the other for longtimes, did you see kids by the time you solve their difference , they are playing together. your issues with the child will vanish as your being with your child works wonders for both ..!! sometimes Being works then Saying...!!

Happy Holi To All....!!!!
      A lovely morning....kids had made their own colours by crushing the roots of Tumeric ( Haldi) ,they got a nice yellow with natural fragrence, they went on a walk search of some colours from nature, got neem leaves made purie and mixed in water, kumkum for red,...all together it was fun...!! Have a great day...!!

Sheetal Vinod share their Parenting skills...a wonderful experience..!!

I was away for more than a year.. been a busy mom learning sharing and exploring new things with Vaishu..She is healthy happy and fine by gods grace and blessings from our elders..Vaishu is 16 months now..She has always been a happy child never troubled her parents and quite matured for her age.
Just wanted to share something which we found truly magical and amazing when we tried it on her..Any new thing you introduce to a baby even if he/she is 0yrs should be briefed in advance with the help of sign language..Sign language is the best way to connect with them is what i personally feel. SAY & DO this was taught to us in the parenting program ISP [ infant siddha program ] we had attended. Have to say that this magical rule has always worked for me while taking her for shots,while i had to give her bath,travelling and in many many situations until 9 - 11 months..

Now from SAY & DO it has taken a step forward..yes Role plays..Today if i have to take her for vaccination i hav to be the doctor i have to ask qns wht doctors generally ask her i have to check her heartbeat measure her height weigh her, measure her around the head which normally all Pediacs do, explain every thing she can expect in tht room and then take her..i enjoy this..i feel happy when she relates this right when the situation arises..

Today i wish to share a cute role play me and my daughter enacted at home last week..i had to take her to a saloon to shave her head..The thought itself used to scare me a lot because friends and family had shared their bitter experiences how they howl how parents or the saloon employees had to nail the kids down and give them the hair cut..Sounded like a torture, felt what the kids might be going through...My preparations started 2 weeks before itself..i used to talk to her about the hair cut..Show her videos on youtube of the happy babies who went for the haircut..Meanwhile i could gather my piece of information about the preparation part..I was the beautician and she was my customer..i tied her bath towel around her neck..Instead of the haircuting scissors i used child safe blunt paper cutting scissors..Wipro Powder tin was my shaving machine and trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr [ haaa haa ! ] was the sound which came out of the powder tin..Few days this drama went on and the day came to take her to the saloon..i grabbed all her fav toys, a chocolate to keep her engaged..Have to say she just took my breath away..she was so calm, quiet.i had recorded a video with the help of a lady there..9 minutes 60 seconds..well i would hav shown u right now if had the opportunity to..Let her grow up i will show her...

You tell me wont she love it ? wudn't she feel proud about herself ? Vaishu's first haircut was a memorable experience for me..Now she is bald..she looks so damn cute.. mmmmmwaaah !


Sheetal

Army,Army...!!!

I cant stop laughing before writing, just remembering fun with kids role play...they play all kinds of roles doctor, banking, police n thief, kitchen, surgeon, sometime they operate on me too, this weekend it was Army,Army!! so they are some Chief Generals protecting country from some so called  bad army attacks of other country..elder one makes plan A...he sketched a plan , call it a perfect plan, big walls, a big place with tight security, soldiers getting trained, a secret locker where weapons and documents are locked, camera's visually all over the place, elder one explains with great pride and says even an ant cannot go in without my permission or order , as am just listening actually wondering or u can say am a victim of their creativity (am still laughing ha)..which i enjoy or am made forcably enjoy as their imaginations are out of my reach ....i noticed along with me my younger son is all wide open ears and mouth and ignition to his imagination kicked off and blinking his cute eyes, sounds like he was visibly not happy that even an ant canot enter and was upset he canot either go in to his brothers well planned security system...,he started making plan B..he sketched it with a different plan of action...and he shares with me and his bro..., bro see i have a different plan, in this am good to you , am a good boy, i made entrance for both of us, it will scan u n me only and allow inside,... oooh in that case am left out, i was wondering should i make plan C to have a entry for whole family before my hubby thinks of plan D when kids repeat , show their plan to him,...well i guess am getting too involved....and curious to know what this little one has to say...big bro asked little bro, where are the soldiers for which he replies am one man army, our eyebrows raise at his confidence, he continues to say..."i have an idea, when i go on war, i will wear magnetic shirt,pant, chaddi and vest too...which will attract ,pull all the weapons off from their hands and i will turn them off...eehaha haha...!  very smart...!!ha ha ha... elder bro had to go to school now as he has Annual day celebrations and was excited .he repeatedly asked us not to miss the show and be on time and dont forget to pick him up from activity room 2, which is still ringing in my mind, i find kids too excited on such occasions at school more then anything else.well we reached in time and  he got an award as Visual and Spacial intelligent child.he was in a skit pied piper, it was thrillling for younger bro to see his big bro on stage.finally day ends spending sometime at PHD,pizza..!!! hangon that was just saturday....sunday is yet their to talk about...not holding you much...just want to share ,it was lovely spending in library.i glanced all kind of books..tony busan, mckennedy and indian authors shobha de, chetan bhagat book on marriage was so honest and clear..so real ,..i went with the flow...finally picked up a book "The road less Travelled" by M.scott peck...., truely Magnificient...this is not just a book as said but a spontaneous act of generosity written by an author who leans towards the reader for the purpose of sharing something larger than himself...it is well discussed about the nature of loving relationships, compatability, and to be a more sensitive parent...have grt week and weekend...!!!

Visualise your Vision...!!!

Visualising your vision, your goals coming true gives powerful visual messages to subconscious  brain.these mental images have been proven to impact the cognitive process including motor functions,perception,attention,planning and mrmory.when you visualise, these process get activated and prepare your brain for actual performance.if you succeed in your brain,you are likely to succeed in reality.Sherlock Holmes, played by Robert Downey Jr, has been practising this technique in the film to assess the outcome of a plan of action.Many Marshal arts are the result of the same.Suma qualified to olympics in shooting the target all 40times.lets do this excercise by experts experiencing great results, lets learn. you can practise this technique by sitting quietly for 5 to 10mins and let your breathe normalise.then imagine the details of yourself doing or achieving what you have desired for another 5 mins,it could be something simple like reaching to work in time or shape up.Gradually increase the time to visualise to 30mins.by doing so for a month ,your subconcious brain will be trained to direct your conciousness into achieving the goal. 

A stich in time saves nine !

Parenting sometime is at the edge when nothing works ...take the seat back...relax ....If you’re at your wits end, feeling depleted, exhausted and drained of your energy because of the constant tests you’ve been getting from your child or children, I hear you! And I want you to know that your're not alone.many parents all around the world are facing similar challenges.may be more extreme,then what you are facing...



You love your child. You want them to be as great as you know they can be. You want them to grow up healthy and with their head on straight. But, somewhere along the line they got "derailed" and started on a path that has led to tremendous stress and anxiety for everyone. Pick your poison. Is your child:



•Angry?

•Defiant?

•Disrespectful?

And the harder you try to control the situation, the more out of control things get. Maybe they get better for a very brief time (and you hope it will stay this way), but it never lasts and the next big blow up is always just around the corner.



defuse your child’s unproductive and negative behavior by just fixing it up in right time....

now the first most thing is put yourself at ease...do all that which brings back u to urself...! meditate.., go for a walk, chat with ur pals.., unwind all your thought process to get started ...angry mind can not think better so is it with your children.

Assuming you are more relaxed now, the next thing is work on the issues you need to sought out with children now.



for example if you are fixing child behaviour like child screams at and talks back to parents all the time.constant siblings fights and fights at school, puts you at embarassement in public by talking anything and making face at you or any, ur afraid to take them out to avoid such situations...,their are many ways to get things on track considering the age of the child.you can attempt this too....



first thing you put a stop to back talk, interrupting, face making and other negative body language.



You say to your son or daughter: "Do not speak to me that way." Or “Do not interrupt me.” Or “Do not make that face.”

you have to keep saying it until s/he stops and you must remain calm and not give up until s/he stops the behavior...they will be a bit shocked as you dont sound angry but firm and you are commanding respect.yes u read it right Command respect! atimes it works well to bring children to be cautious about what they say,how they express.

after constent reminders at their such behaviours ..u will find they started getting it right and when they do the first time at a super market or at home....remember to appreciate their effort they put to lower their temper and talk.once they have done it speak to them about the consequences of the unacceptable behaviours.whether he loses his temper or holds it, most important thing is you focus on the positive aspect. my child even though he is not at extremes but just for mild things when i say " i understand you have put your best to the task and am sure you will catchup the nextime well in hand " he would just go for it n is more at ease...coz of my trust in him.

connect to the child:read books for them..i share my childhood stories of climbing trees , catching fish, my holidaying, our mischief and the lessons learnt etc..children really love to know and they understand childhood is a phase we all go through and have our elders to nurture and guide .sometimes when i say my son..swthrt make new mistakes dont repeat the same its boring for me to remind the same again...he laughs and says ur the mom on earth i saw who is asking her son to make new mistakes....! ha ha... thats for the day...will be in touch...

Parenting starts much before Pregnency..its a Tapas..!

i was just wondering at my journey of being a parent..how i got so calm and patient answering thousands of questions my kids ask.,how everything turns into a joy with their innocent smile..I read every book I could on parenting ....I loved being pregnant. I loved feeling the baby moving within me, awed by the very fact of creating new life. I loved feeling an elbow or a knee slide across my stomach. I loved that my body could be a receptacle for bringing through this soul, this angel from heaven. I could not think of anything more profound, more worth doing..most of the important is how we as parents bond..its a great insight.!



Parenthood is something which just brings a great change in every way..changes your lifestlye from a stressful work patterns , poor diet and conciousness to yoga and meditation.their are many pre n post natal classes which give list of do's and dont's like no smoking , no alcohol , health care provider for a check-up, immunizations, take folic acid,good diet, excercise , meditate etc..i have seen people shifting to organic foods so that their body is chemical free before conception...everything falls in place the very moment you want to be a parent. the whoe idea brings back a descipline in life. yes ! i realise its a Tapas..a great Tapas! whatelse can bring you back to your self...? prepare you to create a new life in you..?



Each pregnancy is a unique experience.its a known fact that Preparing yourself and your body for pregnancy is essential because the physical and mental Health of yours before pregnancy influences the health of your future baby.



Pregnancy seems to be a time of heightened spiritual awareness for many women. It's not at all unusual for pregnant women to experience prophetic dreams about their pregnancies or babies, to notice signs which serve to guide them in their decisions or prepare them for what is to come, or even to sense things within themselves as a powerful inner knowingness -- a knowingness sometimes so strong, it leaves no room for doubts.Parenting starts much before Pregnency.

Learn to Parent yourself..!

Children have lots of similarities given genetically by parents. what is unseen is their innerself which is nurtured right from the womb..anxiety and stress or lonliness that gets over to the child.your baby will feel what you feel so learning to be at joy before and after birth of child makes it easy to handle especially if its first child which is being a dramatic change in once life.you don't know how or what it means to be responsible for a child 24/7.if you don't learn to take responsibility to your feelings , anxieties then its going to hard.so learn to parent yourself so you can parent the child... take loving care of yourself... apart from good diet, exercise and sleep.take responsibility for your feelings which change during and after baby .be emotionally strong..instead of having your eyes on your partner, turn your eyes inward and begin to compassionately notice your own feelings. Start to treat your own feelings in the same way you are planning on treating your future child’s feelings – with caring and understanding.Practice taking loving care of your own feelings instead of making your partner responsible for how you feel.take time for self. Begin to notice what you think and do that may be causing you stress. Changing thoughts and behavior that cause your stress . practice opening to a higher source of guidance, wisdom, strength and love . This can be your own highest, wisest self within you, or a Higher Power outside of you.it will go a long way in helping you stay loving and stress-free with yourself, your partner, and your baby. In addition, this will help you know what to do in different challenging situations with your baby.