It was a pleasent evening and we were in our balcony reading books together , my younger son Akash who just turned 8yrs comes up to me and says
Akash: " mom can i say you something about yourself '?
Me: i paused reading my book , ya.. go ahead sure..
Akash: Mom one thing i noticed is you are over fearing
Me: oh ok...explain..
Akash: when i ask u to lit stove for me whenever i want to make dosa or cook something , you do it but your being around when cooking is what i feel you over fear that i may get hurt etc.
Me : okay nice to hear.so do you really think its coz of fear. ?
Akash: yup..
Me: okay can you see that cloud ? ( as we are in balcony )
Akash: Yes
Me: what does it look like to you?
Akash: it looks like fluffy Dog
Me: For me it feels like soft snow
Ashwin: It looks like igloo
All laugh and giggle running imagination to all possible ways and then ...
Me: Akash so what are your thoughts on this...
Akash: we are funny and think different about just one cloud...haha
Me: so is it ok to think different?
Akash: ya why not...
Me: About same thing?
Akash: offcourse yes but some people dont agree...today my friend dint agree...
Me : do you feel its ok to think so ?
Akash : ...atimes not...but mostly yes...
Me: so for you its me being over fearing but for me it is my care and concern , is that ok to think different about the same thing?
Akash: hhhmmm ya ok...so am i wrong?
Me: you think so?
Akash: No i dont think so, i said what i felt .
Me: and thats ok to feel and say ...
he says eeeee.....
the whole conversation is about perspective. bring in this awareness is very important in child's growing years. Pause and think, is it ok for others to have a different opinion about an issue too....does this open up for new possibilities to think what next....are they operating from okness or not okness....mostly parents ignore to see childs perspective as they consider he doesnt know or his opinion doesnt matter much. this lets down the child and parents wonder why he is not confident or can not speak for self or doesnt understand when explained one thing ten times? did we ever try to understand his perspective...is it so difficult?
3+6=9
5+4=9
when it can be both ways why is it difficult to understand others perspective...makes sense?
Akash: " mom can i say you something about yourself '?
Me: i paused reading my book , ya.. go ahead sure..
Akash: Mom one thing i noticed is you are over fearing
Me: oh ok...explain..
Akash: when i ask u to lit stove for me whenever i want to make dosa or cook something , you do it but your being around when cooking is what i feel you over fear that i may get hurt etc.
Me : okay nice to hear.so do you really think its coz of fear. ?
Akash: yup..
Me: okay can you see that cloud ? ( as we are in balcony )
Akash: Yes
Me: what does it look like to you?
Akash: it looks like fluffy Dog
Me: For me it feels like soft snow
Ashwin: It looks like igloo
All laugh and giggle running imagination to all possible ways and then ...
Me: Akash so what are your thoughts on this...
Akash: we are funny and think different about just one cloud...haha
Me: so is it ok to think different?
Akash: ya why not...
Me: About same thing?
Akash: offcourse yes but some people dont agree...today my friend dint agree...
Me : do you feel its ok to think so ?
Akash : ...atimes not...but mostly yes...
Me: so for you its me being over fearing but for me it is my care and concern , is that ok to think different about the same thing?
Akash: hhhmmm ya ok...so am i wrong?
Me: you think so?
Akash: No i dont think so, i said what i felt .
Me: and thats ok to feel and say ...
he says eeeee.....
the whole conversation is about perspective. bring in this awareness is very important in child's growing years. Pause and think, is it ok for others to have a different opinion about an issue too....does this open up for new possibilities to think what next....are they operating from okness or not okness....mostly parents ignore to see childs perspective as they consider he doesnt know or his opinion doesnt matter much. this lets down the child and parents wonder why he is not confident or can not speak for self or doesnt understand when explained one thing ten times? did we ever try to understand his perspective...is it so difficult?
3+6=9
5+4=9
when it can be both ways why is it difficult to understand others perspective...makes sense?
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